In another of the Empath Diaries series Ambi explores people pleasing and why it often isn’t so pleasing (or healthy).
Inspired by the Libra Full Moon.
(2:05) What is a people pleaser?
(2:55) If you’re a people pleaser, what is your deeper motivation for eating to please others?
(3:40) My own reason for my people pleasing tendancies in the past
(4:35) Empaths have a tendency toward certain traits, but it does not mean that we need to be victims to people pleasing
(6:22) Traits of a people pleaser:
Feeling responsible for everyone
Saying yes when they want to say no
Having a general lack of boundaries, or poor boundaries in place
Avoiding conflict because they don’t want to be disliked
They can be passive aggressive, avoiding saying what they mean
They agree with everyone or pretend to agree with everyone
Can change their behaviors to adapt to surroundings
Would rather be considered “nice” by others than “happy” by themselves
Assume they should do most of the work
Confuse being needed with being loved
Often have time management issues
Can feel trapped and a sense of guilt
No clear sense of self or direction
(9:00) What is the cost of being a people pleaser?
(10:15) Whatever the reason for people pleasing, it can leave you simmering in inner resentment
(11:01) Being a kind, loving, caring and compassionate person is way different from being a people pleaser
(15:20) Finding my way, helping you find your way, finding our way together: my experience being a people pleaser
(27:41) This weeks homework:
Check the list above and find out if you are a people pleaser
Where is your tendency to people please really come from?
Does some of my own journey resonate with you?
Say no where you would normally say yes to something, and realize that saying no really means being able to say yes to yourself
Book mentioned in this episode: The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don’t Have with People You Don’t Like Doing Things You Don’t Want to Do (A No F*cks Given Guide)